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July 05, 2006
you call this happy hour?
So, when Monday came around I could barely contain myself. -- That is a lie. A real overstatement. But I was pretty hungry and happily went down to Elbo's to fill up on what I hoped would be a cornucopia of egg rolls and moo goo gai pan, or at least fried rice.
And with the spread I had laid out in the bar before my mind's eye I knew there would be a full bar full of - who else - scantily clad women.
Unfortunately, when my imagination and I walked through the front door of Elbo's we came face to face with nothing and no one but the bartender.
Shit. This place is empty. No body. No food. There's not even any music.
"Hey, whatchu want man?"
"Um.. got any High Life?" I didn't want to spend too much on beer without seeing the free food before me. And come to think of it, I really didn't want to spend any much money on beer then either. I just wanted the food.
"Yeah, I've got it in back. Just a second, man."
I took the minute or so he was in back to look around the bar. I'd never seen it totally empty before. For some reason it didn't look quite as exciting. And there definitely wasn't any food hiding in any corner. Damn.
Maybe they'll just let me order anything I want from the restaurant. That'd be sweet. Well worth the trip.
"Here you go, man."
I knew it was my chance to ask where the hell the food was, but for some reason I felt a little out of place demanding free food before I'd even started my first beer. Besides, it could be coming any second.
My wait continued on through all of beer one and only one more I told myself. After this one I'm gone.
And then two girls walked in. The fact that they were girls had little to do with me staying. At first.
At first I stayed because I thought there was a chance they came for the same reason I did. Free food.
Unfortunately they were there to see the bartender. It became apparent after a few minutes they really weren't even interested indrinking. They came to chat.
My second beer was coming fast to a close and I decided it definitely wasn't worth staying if I didn't have any free food to wash down with a third.
"You alright, man? Since it's not real busy I'm gonna hang out over here unless you need something. Cool?"
"Umm. do you guys have, like, any happy hour food or anything?"
"Oh, shit, yeah, man. We do. Let me go get you some."
"Oh, yes." My stomach cried out. It's so much food he doesn't even bother bringing it in unless he has to. This is so sweet!
In a minute he came back. "It'll be another couple minutes. You need another beer?"
"Yeah." What I really need is food. But beer will do.
I'd been substituting coffee for food during the day, beer for food at night wasn't too far fetched. But I had the promise of food coming.
"Steve, Who's he?" One of them asked as the bartender came back with my beer.
"I don't know. Who is he?" He asked in my direction.
"Brian." I answered turning, no longer clouded by my lust for free food, toward the ladies at the other end of the bar. To my surprise they were good looking. Like, the kind of good looking I should have noticed when they came in.
"I stood up to go down to their end of the bar."
"Come on down here and talk to us."
"If that seat isn't taken." I said in what I thought was a joke.
"Ahh. There's no one else here."
"Oh. Cool." No shit. I've been here without food or people at least one beer longer than you.
We introduced ourselves while Steve went back into Chin's to get my food. I don't remember their names, and I don't think I ever did. I never remember names. I guess that's not my thing. I do remember when Steve (which is just a name I made up to give him some personality) came back he said something about not having ketchup as he put down a plate full of fried stuff and something red in a ramequin - yeah, I worked in a restaurant - in front of me. After that they kept talking as I concentrated my efforts on my...
"What the fuck is this?"
"Fried vegetables, dude. Like I said, sorry about the cocktail sauce. That's all we had over there."
Deep fried squash? Deep fried carrots? Holy shit. I didn't even know deep fried celery existed.
Maybe this deep fried brocolli will be better with some cocktail sauce.
I can always be wrong.
I would have been more let down by the dish before me if it wasn't for the way the conversation turned.
Posted by calculatoronfire at 09:57 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack