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February 28, 2006

Sending it Out in the Mail

Ken, the scam email banker sent Meat his business address so she took it in her own hands to mail him a cashier's check to pay for the transfer fee.
Unfortunately for the email scam banker the address he gave her wasn't real. There is no Lufield Rd in London.
I'm debating whether or not to put the letter in the mail anyway.
Here's the letter Merideth sent out to the "banker."

Posted by calculatoronfire at 03:58 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

On the Way Out

Meat is currently out sending money to the email scammer's banker. I know, she sent the banker an email saying as much.
I'll update later today when Merideth gets back from the Big KMart, or wherever she's going.

Posted by calculatoronfire at 09:38 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 26, 2006

You're Not a Criminal, Are You?

I know I've been slacking with my correspondence with this email scammer. He's probably given up on me, but I made up an excuse.
Someone told me his co-worker might be a criminal!

Posted by calculatoronfire at 02:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 21, 2006

New House

I'm about to close on a new house in the West Carrolton neighborhood of west Baltimore.

If you map this murder you'll find out where exactly.

I'm starting to think it might be a rough neighborhood.

Posted by calculatoronfire at 04:18 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

February 17, 2006

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day was a very special day at my house.

I turned the heat on for the second night this winter.

Posted by calculatoronfire at 09:34 AM | Comments (79) | TrackBack

February 13, 2006

Trouble with the Money Transfer

Dr Oil and his Friends are having trouble getting the money from Western Union.
Merideth replies with a frantic email.

Posted by calculatoronfire at 10:27 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Dr Oil is Back

Sule -
I sent you some emails and they were sent back to me. I got messages saying your email didn't exist anymore. Or that the postman couldn't deliver the emails.
I believe I have taken care of the money transfer to Mr Aldon Smith in Texas and the money should shoon be transferred to my account.
When are you going to give me your account information so I can give you back your share?
I am worried about the IRS investigating me because of the huge deposit.

Merideth


>From: "Sule"
>Reply-To: dr_sulegidado111@excite.com
>To: calculatoronfire@hotmail.com
>Subject: What is happenning?
>Date: Sun, 12 Feb 2006 23:23:43 -0500 (EST)
>
> Merideth, Why the long silence? The other time you wrote to me that you do not want me to think that you were avoiding me, so what is this then? Please let me know if the funds have been paid to you so I can begin arrangements to come and secure my share of it. Regards,Dr. Gidado
>

Posted by calculatoronfire at 10:38 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Fake Banker Gets a Fake Number

Dear Mr Franklin -
I am terribly sorry. My sister is still sick and I spent the weekend with her.
I thought everything was already taken care of. I mean, I sent the telegram to Mr Smith already, so I thought it was OK to leave. I didn't realize that there was anything else I had to do. The woman at Big KMart's wetern union desk didn't say anything about him needing the transfer control number.
I do hope you accept my apolgy.
I got the number off the reciept I have. I hope Mr Smith will still be able to get the money. I think I need this money transfer more now than ever with my sister's recent sickness.

The number is: 769-688-6594

Please let me know if there are any more problems. I will be staying home so I can check my email as often as possible.

Merideth


>From: ken franklin
>To: "calculatoronfire @hotmail.com"
>Subject: Western Union MTCN
>Date: Thu, 9 Feb 2006 10:33:17 +0000 (GMT)
>
>Merideth Zdenka,
>
> I am still waiting to receive the MTCN for the $1,850 you sent on the 7th of Febuary 2006, its now two whole days and I am yet to get this vital information from you to allow Mr. Alton Smith do the pick up.
>
> Please note that valuable time is being lost here.
>
> Yours sincerely,
>Ken Franklin

Posted by calculatoronfire at 10:34 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 11, 2006

Abandoned House

Today I explored an abandoned house in Baltimore.
I was a little leary going in, because I could see from outside there was no roof.
Still, I went in, exploring the house. I found it had a pretty good view of the cemetery across the street.
I also found evidence of human habitation. Or, junkies, anyway.

It turns out that besides a nice place to shoot up, the place used to be used as a church.

So, it didn't really surprise me that I found a headstone in the building.
At first.
But why would there be a grave headstone carved with someone's name and other information be sitting in a church instead of being placed at the person's grave?


Posted by calculatoronfire at 02:48 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

February 07, 2006

Man, That Banker Gets Excited

Meat sent an email to the fake banker telling him that she sent the western union money transfer - not telegram - earlier today.
When I check my email tonight I noticed two emails from Ken, the Fake Banker. I could tell he was excited, the subjects were "Reply Urgently!!!" and "Reply Now!!!!!" but I was wrong when I assumed it was because I used the wrong address when I told him Meat sent the money. No, I guess that doesn't matter. How could it? 6901 Woodridge Dr in Houston isn't Ken Franklin's house. It isn't anybody's house it's a grocery store.
No, "Ken" was was freaking out because he didn't have the 10 digit number from the Western Union reciept.

And the next one:

Meat will write back tomorrow after a good healthy breakfast of prunes and buttermilk.

Posted by calculatoronfire at 08:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

About That Telegram

Meat learned about the telegram at the Big KMart today. Oh, yeah, and she sent the scammer in Texas $1850. Unfortunately, the crazy old woman sent it to the wrong address.

Posted by calculatoronfire at 04:43 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

My Last Email to Dr Oil

Seems Dr Oil's account disappeared. I got this back when I sent him the last email:

Luckily, his banker still has an active account. He sent me this:

Posted by calculatoronfire at 04:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Crusty Punks and the Age of Consent pt 2

My roommate was a design major, so he didn't just make a flyer announcing our first meeting - he designed it. And, since it was designed by a design major the flyer immediately brought the readers attention to the most important thing about our new student organization's first meeting -- the FREE PIZZA!
We put "free pizza" in huge letters on our flyer with the hopes that it would bring more of the fat, lazy students to our meeting. We thought they were the type of people most likely never to come back to our meetings, which was what we wanted. We only wanted their names and other information so we could claim them as members.
See, we also put "new student organization" on the flyer, so we'd automatically get the "joiner" students. You know, the ones that join every single group and try to get themselves voted in as president so they can put it down on their job applications. We were going to get their names too, but knew they'd never some back either when they found out we really weren't an officially recognized student organization.
That was a risky move, because the joiners might actually object to us calling them members. It was possible they'd find out we were using their names too, with them being in every single organization. The pizza eating kids were a safer bet for us.

So, we had our first meeting. As we expected, we got a bunch of joiners. They left when they found out we weren't a real student organization and they wouldn't be able to count their membership in any grad school application.
We got the pizza eaters too. They left when the pizza was gone.
That left just the few of us that organized the meeting and a couple new people actually interested in what we were doing. "Yeah, man. I'm in a two-man punk band, can I play?"
"OK. As long as you're not like Local H"
"No. We play really heavy shit. but we've never gotten paid before. Will we get paid?"
"Sure. ... Wait. Do we want to pay him? We have to take a vote. ... OK, we'll pay you."

We also had a couple other orders of business to take care of. We had already determined our moves, but voting on them after we'd chased away the people that wouldn't vote our way gave our moves much more legitimacy.
We voted to count everyone who ever came to a meeting as a member. We voted to count everyone we could think of that wouldn't care if we counted them as a member as a member. We voted to give everyone at the meeting an official sounding position, like Supreme Dictator, Führer, Minister of Mis-Information, etc. If I remember correctly we also had an apptly titled "Chief Embezzling Officer" position.
Then we went to faculty member designated to oversee student activities and organizations -- the student that couldn't stand to leave school after graduating and begged for a position at the school. We argued that we had a huge membership roster, we had very important sounding positions, we had done some voting and we wanted to be a student organization.
He told us that the student council had to vote to accept our charter.
"Our charter?"
"Your charter. The document that defines your group."
We got working on one of those. We wrote down our important sounding positions, how we determined our membership and crafted a convoluted, and for all practical purposes impossible, way to remove us from our important sounding positions. Then we submitted it to the student organizations guy.
"This looks good. Now we have to take you to a vote."
The next week we went to the student council meeting. All the joiners were there. All the frat boys were there too. It turns out all the frats were student organizations too.
Knowing the joiners and the frat boys might be hostile to a student organization of punks trying to get money for concerts none of them would ever attend we took a quick vote. "How badly do you think we can lie? I say we go all out."
"What do you mean. Like tell them we're going to get Creed here or something?"
"Yeah. Except, maybe not as big. Like, um, Veruca Salt or something. They all know them, right?"
"Yeah, probably. They're from Chicago, too. That's a good one. And 'dance music' we can say that. It's pretty open-ended."

Things looked like they were going pretty well until a frat boy that organized the Thursday night cover-band series at the bar on campus spoke up. "We already have something like this. Every Thursday night we have bands at 'the Bog' why don't you guys just go to 'the Bog' on Thursday?"
One of the angstier members of our group, the Emperor, perhaps, stood up and shouted back, "Yeah, but we're going to have original bands."
We all urged him to sit down, to give it up. The room was full of frat boys that loved cover bands, after all. I remembered going to see a ska band that must have been mistaken booked at the Bog a couple months back. The crowd heckled them and drunkenly demanded they go back to "Canada, or where ever this crap is from."
The frat boy was looking for a fight, however. "The bands we have are original. Last week we had an oldies cover band. Tomorrow night we have a classic rock band. They play Zepplin, GnR and stuff like that. Every week its something new."
"All we want to do is enhance the social life here on campus. We want to give people something to do on every night of the week; to make this campus a little more fun. You can't be against that, can you?" I answered back in an attempt to end debate. After all, what frat wants to be known as the house that hates fun?

Our charter came to a vote. About half the room voted to approve us. The Bog guy and his friend sitting next to him voted against us. the rest of the room kept on talking.

We started a student organization. The money was going to start pouring in. We could feel it.

Posted by calculatoronfire at 02:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 03, 2006

Flurry of Emails from "Meat"

Merideth (or "Meat" as her friends call her), the woman Dr Oil believes he is scamming, sent out a flurry of emails this afternoon. Here they are

Posted by calculatoronfire at 02:54 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

From Dr Oil's Lawyers

(Since I'm extremely lazy) This is getting to be too much to keep up with.
Dr Oil has about a dozen different email accounts all sending messages to "Meat."

Here's the latest -- from Dr Oil's attorney:

Posted by calculatoronfire at 02:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

February 01, 2006

Dr Oil Hasn't Forgotten

Thankfully Dr Oil hasn't forgotten about Merideth.

Posted by calculatoronfire at 04:11 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack