May 06, 2006
Janet, My Co-worker
"Did he tell you yet?"
Brent, the manager at Royal Farms where I have the pleasure of working from time to time, was hurrying out the door and Janet, the woman he described as his best employee just stood behind the counter staring at what looked like a bag of Utz chips. As soon as Brent left she started up, though. In a disgusted tone she asked, "Did he tell you yet?"
"What? Who?"
"That little bastard."
"You mean Brent?"
"Yeah. The pedophile."
"Umm. I don't think he mentioned anything about that, no. He told me you were Janet, though." He didn't have time to introduce us then, but I knew I was supposed to train with Janet and she knew the new guy was coming in.
"He's supposed to tell everyone that comes to work here. He's a pedophile. Don't bring your kids in here. He's a pervert. I feel him undressing me with his eyes every time I come in. It's disgusting. That's why I have to get out of here."
When Brent told me about Janet all he said was that she was his best employee and that she had a bit of a bladder problem. That description was a bit inaccurate. First of all, the problem was nothing that couldn't be fixed by cutting out the bladder and replacing it with a bag strapped to her ankle. And two, she may have been his best worker, but she would have been described as something like a pig with lipstick.
I've heard that saying a few time before, like putting lipstick on a pig and it never really meant anything to me besides someone was trying desperately for laughs by using some stupid, cliche metaphore. But it would have fit to describe Janet. Sort of.
A more accurate description would be eyeshadow on a raisin.
Wrinkled old lady went on and on for the rest of the night telling me about how much she disliked Brent. How she was sure he undressed her with his eyes, Something I seriously doubted, how she was sure he was a pedophile and was therefore required to tell everyone he worked with that he was a "registered pervert" and a thing of two about running the night shift at the Royal Farms.
Posted by calculatoronfire at May 6, 2006 11:42 AM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://baltiblogs.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/8140
Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Janet, My Co-worker:
Comments
We're going to need pictures of this.
Posted by: tfg at May 7, 2006 02:37 AM