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November 22, 2005
Bar Crawl pt 2
At a lot of bars in the Azore islands you are handed a piece of paper when you enter. Often if you look confused the doorman will tell you not to lose it. If you're with friends they usually take over from there.
"What is this? Why shouldn't I lose it?"
"That's your drink card. Every time you go up to the bar they mark off the drinks you get. If you lose it they charge you like 1000 scoots or something."
At the time 1000 scoots, or escudos I guess they called them officially, came to about $50.
"So you can drink all night, throw away the card and only have to pay 50 bucks?"
"Uh, yeah. Try it."
You could drink all night, but it always cost less than $50. Losing the card meant, for even the heaviest of drinkers, paying more than twice your bill. So it wasn't advised.
Kasey and I were already initiated into the whole Portugese weird-drink-card-thing, so we must have looked confused when we entered the last bar on our crawl through the city. That or we were just so drunk the bouncer mistook our drunken looks for confusion. We had, after all, stopped at more than 10 bars in the space of about 6 blocks.
Things started to get a little fuzzy around the time we stopped at the "old man" bar a couple stops previous. There we had a couple drinks and the bartender, for some reason or another, made us try some apple juice/milk concoction. It was also there I had to use the bathroom again.
I had to crouch to get through the bathroom door and then hit my head on the ceiling inside -- it was at a strange angle because it was under a stairway. The urinal was an open concrete trough with a short length of garden house hanging above it. I figured I was supposed to "flush" the "urinal" by turning on the water and spraying the hose. Then everything would wash out into the street -- I could see from the open hole in the wall that's where everything went. I tried to recall whether I had walked through a puddle on my way into the bar. But things were a little too fuzzy and I soon found myself wondering what I was doing just standing there in what they passed off as bathroom.
I went back into the main part of the bar and found Kasey making out with the bartender. This time the premise was exchange for a Milky Way bar. So I had another drink.
We eventually ended up at the last bar, the bar where, earlier in the night, we had decided we'd "stay and drink." While at the bar - our immediate destination - waiting for the bartender to come over Kasey turned to me and said, "So this is the bar where everyone makes out."
"Yeah. Last time everyone was just hanging out making out."
The bartender interrupted us asking what we wanted.
As soon as Kasey got her drink she left the bar without waiting for me to get mine. When I turned to look for her I noticed a few acquaintences and went over to talk to them. It was just a bunch of guys sitting, talking. They must have heard that this was the bar to go to if you wanted to make out.
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.
"He's looking for chicks."
"No, I'm not."
Ok, so they were young guys - Portugese high school kids - about 16-18 years old. I'm not sure if it came to me right away, but eventually it did come to me. "What do you think of my friend over there?" I pointed to where I finally stopped Kasey."She's looking to hook up."
"Yeah? She's OK. I guess."
When Kasey was done making out with who ever it was she was making out with there -- what she rushed away from the bar to do -- I called her over. "These are some friends of mine. Remember that orgy I told you was going to be at my house? These are the guys."
"Orgy?"
"Yeah. These guys wanted to have some orgy or something, but couldn't find any women."
"Ohhhh. Yeah. I remember. I thought you were saying I was there."
I introduced here around and ended up with Francisco, the oldest and undoubtably the most shy. Or so I thought.
Perhaps it was my assurance she was looking for a man. Maybe it was because he was drunk. Or maybe some sparks flew when I turned my back, but within seconds they were withdrawing to the corner.
I stayed and talked with the rest of the guys about whatever it is drunk Americans in their 20s talk to drunk Portugese teenagers about in bars. It must have been a while, long enough to finish a drink, at least, because Kasey came up to me, "Let me have your card."
"Why?"
"I lost mine."
"How'd you lose it?"
"I don't know. I just lost it. And I need another drink."
"Why should I give you mine? So you can lose it too?"
"Come on. I'll give it back when I'm done."
"Ok, but get me a drink too." I handed over my drink card. And that was the last I saw of it.
Almost.
Posted by calculatoronfire at November 22, 2005 04:13 PM
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