« Eviction Process (cont) pt1 | Main | Eviction Process (cont) pt3 »
October 25, 2005
Eviction Process (cont) pt2
I opened the door to see an overweight, middle-aged black woman in sweat pants and a sweatshirt with what I took to be either her husband or her pimp next to her. He wore what could easily be considered a pimp's uniform - long leather trench coat, bright red alligator skin shoes and a feathered hat - but he didn't quite have the demeanor.
He stood by as she asked the questions.
"You Mr Brian?"
"Uh. Yeah."
"What you mean to do kicking these people out tomorrow?" Then she raised her voice. "You cannot be doing that! You cannot kick anybody out without a note from a judge! The sherriff has to do that."
Then the pimp chimed in. He was an imposing guy, well over six feet tall without yelling, but he apparently decided that he needed to yell at me anyway. "What the hell do you think you doing kicking these people out with less than a day notice?"
"I didn't kick them out. I asked them to leave. I asked them over 3 months ago."
"These are my grandkids. You got that?" Now he not only looked liked he was going to start pounding my skull against the side of my house, but he looked a bit like he was going to cry. His lip opened and closed rapidly like he was stuttering, but he wasn't saying a word. "This is illegal."
Then the fat woman joined in again. "I know the law better than you think. I know the law better than you. I know you can't evict someone without a court order. You didn't know that. I know that."
"I know I can't evict them without a court order. I didn't evict them yet. I asked them to leave. If they don't I'll have them evicted."
"You have to go through the process. This shit ain't legal." He said. "They haven't done anything. They have a lease."
"No they don't have a lease. And they haven't paid rent for over 4 months. I warned them over 3 months ago they'd have to leave."
The pimp stormed off leaving me with the overweight woman. "She said you just told them today they had to leave."
"No. They've known for months."
"She called me crying telling me I'd have to take my grandkids. She said you were putting her out."
OK. It's her husband, not her pimp. I thought. The woman was referring to Pat, the older woman in the house I rent out. Pat lives in the house with her two daughters and the daughters' 3 children along with Earl, when he's not in the hospital at least. That population is down from its peak of 12 this spring after Earl came home from prison.
"I asked her to leave and she said she'd find someplace to go. How was I supposed to know?"
"This damn family is so lazy. They ain't nothing but trouble. They ain't been nothing but trouble for my Gene since he came down here." Gene, her son - I think - fathered a couple of the kids in the house, but is in jail at current. "I'm from the old school where we pay our bills. I'm from the old school."
The pimp came back up to me, "I had to leave to keep me from getting violent with you. You know this is illegal."
"He said they ain't paid rent for months and they been knowin' for months 'bout leavin just ain't done shit."
"They still don't have no place to go." Turing to me. "These are my grandkids. You can't throw them on the street."
My first thought was that if it was so important to him that they don't end up on the street then he should take them in." I was going to tell him so when Earl came up to us.
"It ain't his fault. These people just don't look for another place. They ain't payin' rent. They's just lazy. They sit around and do nothin' all day but bithc about me then kick me out when I'm the only one payin' any kinda anything."
"He still can't just kick them out." Pimp Grandaddy said.
"That's right they's lazy. They ain't no good n' got my Gene in trouble." I doubt it was anyone but Gene's fault he got into trouble. He sucked down more forties and smoked more blunts than anyone I've seen, before or since. He was constantly starting fights with one person or the other and even got kicked out of both neighborhood corner bars for being such a nuisance.
"They's so lazy in there," Earl started up again. "Tiarra so lazy she be too lazy to go down to fill out the paperwork to get herself on welfare. She could be on welfare but's too lazy."
I never knew that welfare was for the ambitious, but it appears that's the case.
Pimp daddy started turning in circles and then charged into the house.
"Ain't anyone int here got a job. I was the only one. They's too lazy. Me and James even got them jobs down at the place where we work at and they never showed up. We got them jobs, but they's too lazy." James is the brother of the two girls. He was one of the twelve residents when the house was at peak occupancy. Him, his girlfriend and three of his kids.
"I told them you said it was ok for them to stay to the end of the month." Pimp daddy announced. "Come on, Momma. They're staying here. Let's just go home."
Posted by calculatoronfire at October 25, 2005 04:05 PM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://baltiblogs.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/7002
Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Eviction Process (cont) pt2:
Comments
ye gods. just in general. ye gods.
Also, in particular:
"Tiarra so lazy she be too lazy to go down to fill out the paperwork to get herself on welfare. She could be on welfare but's too lazy."
holy FUCK.
Posted by: d2ana at October 25, 2005 09:59 PM
I was just going to say that same line cracked me up.
Thank you for further cementing my plan of NEVER renting any property to anyone. EVER.
Posted by: Freak Magnet at October 26, 2005 10:45 AM
I gootas admit to not being much into the blogs, but "...welfare was for the ambitious..." made me laugh out loud. Thanks.
Posted by: Adam at November 15, 2005 12:15 AM
opps-didn't preview! "gotta", it sould read.
Posted by: Adam at November 15, 2005 12:16 AM