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October 18, 2005
The Morning Team
Yesterday when I woke up I wasn't exactly in the best of moods. After a nice weekend of hanging out until 6am and sleeping in late I had a hard time getting up for work on Monday.
And that was before I found out my cat puked all over the foot of my bed.
So I gathered up my sheets and trudged, half asleep, down to the basement to wash my freshly soiled sheets.
My basement has a low ceiling, so it didn't surprise me when I walked into a bare light bulb, smashing it and sending shards of glass showering down on myself. I wasn't too surprised, but I was agitated.
End then I went out into the yard to find my dogs had gotten into the garbage can and torn up garbage all around my back yard.
So when other people annoyed me on my way to work I didn't think too much of it. I gave them the benefit of the doubt - I was in a bad mood.
Today on the other hand. It's all their fault.
Driving down the road I passed a jackass going well below the speed limit in the left hand lane. I passed him on the right side and looked his way to give him a well deserved glare. Unfortunately he was too busy typing an email on his Dingleberry to notice me.
He held the Dingleberry in his left hand, along with the steering wheel, and typed with his right hand.
What an Asshole. He's the biggest jerkoff I've ever seen, I thought.
Until I got only a couple miles farther down the road when I saw a guy driving down the interstate in a big white lincoln towncar while shaving.
I don't know how or why, but there he was with the steering wheel in one hand and a razor in the other shaving his face.
I wonder if these people get together before starting out for the day. "You shave in the right lane. I'll be just behind you typing up an email in the left lane. Bob -- the guy with the old junker covered in NASCAR stickers will cover the middle lane eating a sandwich or something. Where is he?"
"He called to say he'll be late, he's putting on a new sticker that says 'Gordon sucks. Petty swallows. And Junior Blows.'"
"Well, we'll have to start without him. Brian'll be leaving for work any second."
Posted by calculatoronfire at October 18, 2005 10:18 AM
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Comments
Dude, I may be an hour or two late for work everyday, but at least I don't do THAT crap while I'm driving.
Then again, I only work 5 minutes from my house, so it doesn't give me much time to do anything.
Posted by: Freak Magnet at October 18, 2005 12:48 PM