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August 11, 2005
Leaving Work
Tomorrow is my last day in my office.
Nothing much happened when I came to work here 6 months ago or so, so I figured my leaving would be similar, but that doesn't seem to be the case.
When I showed up to work in the office I was greeted by my boss's assistant. He showed me to my desk and then disappeared. It was Friday afternoon and people were all packing up to leave so I did the same. I mean, just I left; I didn't have anything to pack up.
I showed up the following Monday just before nine and, aside from the secretary, found the office empty. I was proud of myself for showing up so early and gave myself and extra pat on the back for showing up before everyone else. I was still alone patting myself on the back until about 11:30. That's when I got tired of it and went to ask the secretary where everyone was.
"Oh, they're all at a conference."
"When are they coming back?"
"Well, some might be coming back Friday afternoon, but most everyone's out until next week."
"Do you have any idea what I'm supposed to do?"
"No. The boss might be in Wednesday for a little while. You can ask him then."
For the rest of the week I looted other people's desks, traded away a bad monitor with some unsuspecting co-worker, etc.
On Monday when everyone else in the office appeared I heard a lot commotion but nobody seemed to pay any attention to "the new guy." After a while I introduced myself to a couple people. They acknowledged my presence and immediately turned around to their work.
In the months since then there's been a little talking here and there. Someone brought in a game they hope to patent. Now I know the names of nearly a dozen co-workers. I can't say out of how many, because I'm not sure how many people work in my office. 50 maybe? I think I can recognize most of them, although I couldn't tell you what they do.
Most of them don't talk. Except the fat guy. He goes over to the black woman that listens to Dr Funkenstein on the other side of my cubicle and says things like, "Don't give me that 'girlfriend' garbage, just give it to me straight." I have no idea what he does, but I know he claims to have invented the internet.
He's taken to calling me by my name in the last week or so. Just in time for me to leave.
What I think happened was someone sent out a message saying that, "Brian is leaving" and people scurried around trying to find out who I was. "Who is this 'Brian' guy?"
"I don't know. Do you think he's in that cubicle with the nametag that says 'Brian?'"
"Could be. I'll start calling him Brian. If he answers to that We'll know it's him."
"Well if that is him I'll start giving him retirement advice."
That must have been the things happened because people that have never talked to me before popped in to give me retirement advice. "Move someplace rural. Buy land there now and build when you retire."
"Oh. Ok."
"Yeah. My wife is from Kansas. We're retiring there. She hates that I like it there, but that's where we're going. You really should retire somplace rural."
"Well, I'm just in my 20s..."
"My wife is a doctor in Bethesda. She's much closer to retirement and we don't want to move. We're staying right here. You should really find the house you want to retire in."
"I don't know if that's that important right now."
"Well you're leaving and you have to find a good job so you can retire with benefits at the very least."
As my departure gets closer more and more people are stopping by my desk saying things like, "It's too bad you're leaving us." and "Are you counting the minutes yet?"
I think the last person that came by my desk and asked me that whispered, "I am" as she left.
Posted by calculatoronfire at August 11, 2005 12:15 PM
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Comments
paDUNKAdunk.
Posted by: emma at August 11, 2005 12:53 PM
How'd you know she was the one that said it?
Posted by: brian at August 11, 2005 04:55 PM
that's just how pahdankadanks roll ;)
Posted by: emma at August 12, 2005 10:50 AM
When I worked in a cubicle farm, I was similarly left with no work the first few weeks, and I could not now tell you any co-workers' names. Except Chip.
Posted by: molly at August 14, 2005 11:31 AM
Funny, there was a guy in my office everyone called Cheetos.
Same guy?
Posted by: brian at August 14, 2005 10:34 PM
I think your site might be interesting but I can't read the type.
Posted by: Cham at August 20, 2005 10:53 AM