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August 08, 2005
Last Email to Cliff
I had to put an end to my correspondence with Cliff tNES. It was fun while it lasted, but I was getting bored with him.
I hope this is the last email I'll have to send him:
>From: "calculatoronfire @hotmail.com"
>To: kunlecallforlove@hotmail.com
>Subject: RE: TOTAL AMOUNT NEEDED FOR SHIPMENT OF THOSE AFRICAN DOLL.THANKS
>Date: Mon, 08 Aug 2005 11:21:41 -0400
>
>Cliff,
>What is it with you Nigerians? Why are there so many scam artists
>there? Is it genetic? I mean, are you guys just somehow internally
>drawn to running scams? Like, maybe you set out to make an honest
>living but your hands just type out poorly worded con emails without
>your head knowing it?
>I thought it could be that there are no laws against email scams,
>but then I found out about your 419 laws. Are they just poorly
>enforced?
>Maybe the pool of eligible police officers is too busy playing
>email-oil-baron-prince at home to get out and apply for real jobs.
>That scam certainly is more common than yours - "Sales Manager of
>Harvard International" - I give you points for originality there.
>
>Don't even try to send me anything back and claim you weren't try to
>scam me out of a bunch of cell phones and 84 toasters. I knew you
>were from the first email. It basically just said, "we would like to
>order some items form you using a major credit card." You need to
>work on that if you really want to pull your scam off. And while
>you're at it try some place besides hotmail.
>Do you really think any sort of business has a hotmail account?
>Hotmail is the place to go to find regular people like me, not a
>business.
>
>That's right, Cliff, old boy, I don't run a business. Truth is I've
>been scamming you too. I'm not a Vietnam veteran. I'm in junior high
>in Great Falls, Montana. How's that feel, Buddy? You got scammed by
>a 13 year old.
>I'd have kept it up, too, if I didn't have to go back to school.
>It'll be my first year of senior high and I'm not sure I'll have
>time to compose emails about hotels full of used toasters and cell
>phones flushed down the toilet at the rate you demand them.
>And demand them you do. If I don't email you back for a day you
>freak out and go caps-lock on my ass. As if that makes me move any
>faster to wire you as much money as I make in a year on my paper
>route. Maybe I'll get that kind of bank when I start at McDonalds or
>something. But even if I did I've never seen a Western Union in my
>life.
>Maybe if you and your buddy the prince keep up your scams there'll
>be more demand for them and we'll get one here in Great Falls, but I
>doubt you're doing too well with your totally indecipherable emails,
>pal.
>Seriously. You can play English as a second language, but you have
>to give me some idea of what you're talking about. All I ever
>understood was you wanted a couple cell phones and a bunch of
>toasters. I never understood why you wanted that many toasters, but
>for some reason you did. I guess if they'd be essentially free to
>you there'd be no reason for you to turn them down. I guess
>understand that.
>
>I hate to go on and on like this. Say hi to the wife and kids for
>me. Especially little Harry.
>
>Your Pal,
>Harry
>
>PS. If you don’t mind, would you tell me why your emails were coming
>from mostly from Cooksville, Maryland and various places in Israel
>while only a few actually came from Nigeria?
Posted by calculatoronfire at August 8, 2005 11:24 AM
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Comments
dude, harsh.
i think we all learned a lot from cliff. he'll always be the nigerian email scammer i'll hold closest in my heart.
farewell, sweet cliff.
Posted by: sweetney at August 8, 2005 09:55 PM