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August 01, 2005
Baby Boys
Cliff the Nigerian Email Scammer wants money and thinks Harry will send it to him because Cliff's got a new baby boy. Instead I sent Cliff a new bunch of lies and a photo of a baby I found on the internet.
>From: "calculatoronfire @hotmail.com"
>To: kunlecallforlove@hotmail.com
>Subject: RE: TOTAL COST NEEDED WITH FAVOUR/URGENT RESPONSE NEEDED.........
>Date: Mon, 01 Aug 2005 18:02:25 -0400
>
>Cliff -
>Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you again. I was putting
>off responding to your email until I got the tracking number from
>Randy and he was gone all of last week. Then I read your last email
>and I've been simply too excited to write back.
>I called up my wife, our pastor, and all the neighbors you'll see
>when you're out here - that is if you can still come with a new born
>- to tell them about your exciting news.
>By the way, congratulations! A healthy baby is great news and no one
>deserves great news more than you.
>
>I've got more good news for you. I talked to my wife and we decided
>to cover the shipping cost for you as a gift on this joyous occasion
>of yours.
>I sort of threw the idea out to her and she thought it was
>absolutely the best idea she had ever heard of.
>I've just been having such a hard time tracking down the shipping
>cost and tracking number because of Randy's oversight it seems like
>the easiest thing for us all to do.
>The wife and I have been saving up for a vacation to see the Old Man
>of the Mountain in New Hampshire, but knowing that the money will be
>going to someone who could really use it makes us feel just as good.
>Besides, it's not like the rock formation will disappear. It'll
>still be there next year.
>
>After doing a little research I figure the shipping will cost around
>$3000 dollars. That's a lot, but not more than we can cover. It is,
>however, more than you asked for. I hope that works for you and you
>will be able to pay your employees.
>I gathered from your last email that things are a little tight for
>you monetarily in Nigeria. I hope the break there helps. I think you
>really deserve it. After all, it was reading your email that really
>calmed me down when I was so mad at my daughter and her pornographer
>husband.
>Oh. I didn't tell you that. I found out that Gerry wouldn't tell me
>the movies he was in because they were all rated XXX. That sent me
>through the roof. I'll tell you that.
>When I found that out I went in to the shop to take out some
>aggression - we've got a huge mallet and hydraulic anvil that I
>pound on when I get REALLY angry. When I was too tired to carry on
>anymore I was still feeling angry and decided to focus on work. I
>sat down and read your email and really felt at peace. Thank you for
>your kind words.
>
>Anyway. Randy should be back tomorrow. I'll ask him then about the
>tracking number, although I'm not positive the USPS gives tracking
>numbers for freight sent at the rate I think he sent it.
>
>Oh, that reminds me! We only sent one phone. I thought is what you
>asked for, but reading your last email it seems to me I might have
>been wrong. It sounded like you wanted 5 of them. If that is the
>case I'll send out 4 more as soon as I find that many.
>I'll send out some disposable diapers with them. Something tells me
>they might be a little hard to find in Nigeria. Even in Lagos.
>
>
>
>So the final amount that I'll bill to your credit card for the
>toasters and one phone is: $1175
>(Remember I've covered the shipping for you and your new brood)
>
>I will let you know how much 4 more phones are if you really are
>interested. I'll be getting them individually, so I don't know the
>final price just yet.
>
>Remember I need that credit card number from you. I'll need it to
>bill you the $1175.
>
>And finally Cliff, could you please, please, please send me pictures
>of your new baby boy? It's my wife's new hobby to scan our kids
>pictures into the computer (I've attached a picture of Bobby, our
>youngest) and she'd love to see one of your son.
>By the way, what is his name?
>
>
>
>Your friend,
>Harry
Posted by calculatoronfire at August 1, 2005 06:05 PM
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Comments
wow, this is consuming a lot of your life at this point, isn't it?
good work, my friend.
Posted by: sweetney at August 1, 2005 10:52 PM