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June 20, 2005
-----Original Message-----
From: brian [mailto:calculatoronfire @hotmail.com]
Sent: Monday, June 20, 2005 11:41 AM
To: His Brother
Subject: FW: Re: can you read this
Hey Rich Little!
I put the boat out in the abandoned lot behind my house -- the closer one right at the mouth of my alley. Within a day someone tried to steal it. I put it out Thursday night after hitting the bar or something. I don't remember. I just remember it was late Thursday night and I was a little tipsy. Friday when I got back to work I found it moved, some of the (apparently fancier rope) rope cut missing and the winch wire pulled out.
Looks like someone unhooked the boat from the winch that held it on the trailer and took some of the less fancy rope from somewhere else on the boat and tied the boat to the trailer with that then tried to use the winch wire to hook it to their ghetto-ass car or truck. They didn't get too far, though. When I found the boat after work it was still in the lot covered with grubby ass neighborhood kids.
Not that I really wanted to know, but I found it can carry about a dozen of those fuckers, without any parental supervision, of course. They smashed one of the windows, ripped off the top slidy door-thing (I don't know what it's called to me it's the thing. The whole boat is covered with things), threw the part of the door somewhere and were using it as a teeter totter.
When they saw me about half of them ran off. The other even more stupid half stayed on playing with a scrub brush like it was some kind of exotic toy -- I wouldn't be too surprised if they had never seen a mop before, so I guess I understand. I yelled at them. "Get the fuck of of there!" and they just stood there looking all stupid, "Why? Is this your boat?"
When they finally figured out it was mine they ran like hell. One of them left his bike and was too afraid to come back and get it. If it had windows I would have smashed them. Little fuckers.
Anyway, I moved it to the street and covered it with a tarp. Partly to show that someone owned it, partly to keep the rain out of it now that it didn't have a door.
The next morning I went out and noticed someone ripped the tarp off the thing. I guess to see what was inside. There wasn't anything worth stealing in there - the people that tried to steal the boat already got the good stuff. Or stuff they thought was good, anyway. I have no idea why, but I had a jug of cleaning solution, some kind of blue soap, that I was using to clean the boat and they stole that. Not the soap, just the jug. They were nice and poured the soap into a bucket inside the boat.
So assuming it lasts long enough for it to be an issue: Do you know how to hook up the wiring to a battery and a motor to the battery? That's how they do that, right?
I'm thinking of taking it out on the water on the fourth of July without the sails -- 100% illegally, of course.
Brain
Posted by calculatoronfire at June 20, 2005 02:33 PM
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Comments
stop making shit up, dude, and get on doing my goddamn meme!
Posted by: sweetney at June 21, 2005 10:52 AM
Umm. This is real. I (try to ) clearly label all falsities.
Posted by: brian at June 21, 2005 05:09 PM