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April 07, 2005
Strange Dates Pt 2
We had a few drinks at Gallagher's and then headed off to another. We hit a few bars around the city, between each one the girl drove about 55 mph down city streets dodging pedestrians. At the bars she outdrank me, something I thought strange because she was about half my size.
Then a thought came to me. She's a transvestite. I had thought it before, because of her deep voice but the conversations about her kid and her two divorces (from men) before her 28th birthday convinced me she was a man.
Actually it wasn't so much her speedy, heavy drinking that really made me think again that she was a he. It was bumping into her in the doorway of the men's room. She was coming out, I was going in. She's a man!
I told myself that my imagination was getting the better of me. That a deep voice and using the men's room, even when the women's is empty, does not a man make. I talked myself out of the thought and had another drink. She had two.
At the end of the night She drove me home and she started talking about how great a time she had. Then she told me she was going to give Alex, her gay bodyguard my number -- so we could hang out some time. I thought it was a little strange for a girl to give a guy her date's number, but I was drunk and they were friends and stranger things had happened already that night. "Ok. I guess."
She dropped me off at home and told me she wanted me to hang out with her, her mom and her daughter the next day. That it would be fun.
"I don't really want to intrude on family time."
"No. No. It'll be fun."
Thankfully she never called in the morning and I didn't have to think of an excuse. Really? What would I have going on that's more important than hanging out with a girl I went out with once and her kid. And her mom.
She did call about two weeks later to invite me to watch tv with her, though.
"I don't really watch tv."
"I know. You told me you don't have one, but sometimes it's nice to just sit and veg out and watch tv with someone else."
Oh! She's trying to get me over to her house. I'm gonna get some action! "Yeah. I guess that could be cool."
"Well then why don't you come over Tomorrow?"
"Oh. Tomorrow's not good for me."
"Then Thursday? Paradise Hotel, my favorite show, is on then."
"Yeah, sure. I'll come by about 8?"
"No. Make it 9. I want to make sure my daughter's asleep."
Sweet! I'm totally getting action! "Cool. I'll stop over then."
Thursday night I grabbed some clothes I could change into at work and jumped in my car. I drove down to the girl's house - I was sure again that she was a she and not a he. I stopped the car and was about to get out. I had even turned the car off, when I realized I had forgotten something. I had to make a stop at a convenience store.
"Do you have any condoms?"
"Do I have what?"
"Condoms."
"Condoms?"
"Rubbers?"
"Oh. Somewhere. Hold on." The old Pakistani guy wandered around behind the register looking for the hidden condoms. He turned a few things over, looked behind other things and basically got me a little impatient. When I was about to give up he pulled one out. "Ok. Found one."
One? He can only find one? How old is this thing going to be - their one left-over condom.
I grabbed it and hurried over to "watch some tv."
Posted by calculatoronfire at April 7, 2005 10:03 PM
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