« The Dating Service Pt 2 | Main | Why Fly When You Can Drive? »
March 24, 2005
The Old Man and the Garage
Today I went out looking for a storage space. I didn't go very far, just to the end of the street. There I saw a place renting garages, so I went inside to see if there were any places available.
I knew that was a mistake right away - the old man looked at me like he just saw a ghost. I figure that's because he spends most of his days alone, without human interaction of any sort, inside the old, windowless garage that serves as his office.
After explaining that he didn't have any garages now, but he will in a couple weeks I tried to leave. I figured having listened for over 5 minutes to the 2 second explanation I had more than fulfilled my obligation. So I opened up the door to leave.
As I said "good bye" he said, "Wait. I forgot there's another guy who's getting his stuff tossed out next week."
So I stopped and listened some more.
The suddenly he changed topics. "I was in the army at Aberdeen."
"Oh yeah?" Great. He's going to keep talking, and I have to listen because he has a good price on his garages.
"Yeah. Made permanent party there and then they shipped me off to Japan. Wasn't even there two weeks 'fore they sent me off to Korea."
"That sucks."
"Well this old warrant officer there seen where I was from and he made me his driver 'cuz he could talk about home, you know?"
"Oh. That's good."
"Hell yeah. I didn't have to do nothing 'cept drive. No guard duty nothing."
"Oh. That's good."
"I did guard duty before that, when I was still at Aberdeen. Ain't had no trouble 'cept once when I had to shoot a nigger."
What the hell? Did he just say what I think he said?
"I told the man to stop, but he just ook off running, so I had to shoot him in the leg -- I mean what else am I supposed to do if a man don't stop?"
"I guess."
"But didn't have no guard duty in Korea. Ain't never messed around with the whores there or nothing. Some guys did and got syphilis and the clap real bad, but not me.
"I did, though, once go to this mammasan. She had GIsget her cigarrettes and shit like that at the PX and she says to me 'I can't change money. You change money for me.' So I took her money. Damn, I spent a good two weeks R&R in Japan. She can't identify me or nothing.
"Yeah. That was a good two weeks."
"Oh. That's good."
I'm starting to think there's something about me that attracts weird, old talkers. Something about me that invites them to unload.
I wish I could figure out what it was.
Posted by calculatoronfire at March 24, 2005 03:22 PM