« Catwoman vs the Birdman | Main | E Monument »
March 10, 2005
Coming Home From School Pt 2
"What the hell was that?"
"Fuck. I knew it. Didn't I tell you this was going to happen. I had a feeling. That's why I don't drive in the city."
"What the hell was that?"
"I knew it. This always happens. There are always accidents in the city."
"What the fuck?"
My dad and his friend, Peter, just sat in the front seats babbling, questioning what had happened. Though surely they saw everything. I saw it from the atop the perch of my belongings with my body pressed up against the door in possibly the most uncomfortable car ride I've ever had.
Peter, a weight lifting buff and failed gym owner, hopped out of the car and stood in front of the driver's side window of the late 80s Chevy Blazer. He didn't have to go too far to do this as the guy drove straight into the side of Peter's car, right behind the back driver's side wheel.
I looked out at the SUV to the driver only a few feet away. After crashing into another car, having the driver of that car get out of his and stand in front of the guy's door he still just looked forward and blinked. It even looked to me like he was trying to figure out why the car wasn't moving.
Peter knocked on the other car's window and made the international "roll down your window" gesture. The guy rolled down his window with a confused look on his face.
"You crashed into my car."
"Uh. Uh. Oh. I'm sorry. It was an accident."
The woman in the passenger's seat wasn't as calm. "Oh, God. Oh, God, you did it. You hit that car." She screamed as she got out of the Blazer. "Yeah. Yep, you hit it. You hit that car."
"I'm real sorry."
The accident wasn't bad, the guy had been stopped and didn't have time or space to get up to speed, but it was still bad enough to cause a bit of damage. "I have your license number. Pull through the intersection and we'll get this straightened out."
We all met on the sidewalk at the corner, and even preoccupied with a horribly running, itchy nose and eyes I knew something was wrong with the couple. She was jittery and high strung while he could barely stand up straight. He wasn't drunk, but he couldn't stand. "Hey, man. This was an accident, see. I was dribing here car, but I don't got no license and she don't got no insurance on the vehicle."
"Well, I guess you're fucked."
"I don't got no insurance, but the car's in my name." She had gone back to the car and now came running over. "I don't got no insurance, but I got a couple speeding tickets here."
My dad flagged down a passing cop car.
"No!. No!. The're going to lock me up. Please. It was an accident. Please, no police. She ain't got no insurance."
For some reason Peter obliged. He walked over to the cop car (I think Chicago cops play pratical jokes on each other by super glueing each other to the seats) and asked if he had to report an accident.
"Not if there's less than five hundred dollars damage."
"Ok. We'll handle it then. Thanks."
Peter walked over the rest of us.
"Thank you, sir. Thank you. I owe you."
Holy shit. Is he going to kiss Peter's hand?
"Damn right you owe me. You're paying every fucking cent it takes to get that car fixed."
"Oh, yes sir." The two fumbled amongst each other and then turned, "We have $150 between us right now."
Posted by calculatoronfire at March 10, 2005 06:46 PM
Comments
and off in the distance, there was the sound of a rimshot...
Posted by: sweetney at March 10, 2005 08:16 PM