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January 18, 2005
Krakow
"Bitte, einz zu Krakow."
"Excuse me?"
"I'd like a ticket to Krakow please?"
"Ok. Very well. First class or coach?" It never fails to amaze me; people all over the world speaking English better than me. I try their language and they shake their heads, "I know English. Just speak English."
The first leg of the trip was a short train ride from Frankfurt to Hannover. I found my assigned seat, smack between the only two obese men in all of Germany. I took a different seat knowing full well that I was playing fast and loose with my life. Germans lose organization and there I was with my American informality taking the wrong seat simply because my was covered with rolls of fat. I could almost see my being in the wrong seat enraging some uber-organized German so much he'd attmept to strangle me.
Luckily no one ever came to claim the seat. I got off scott-free with my disrespect for their organization.
I finally arrived in Krakow about 18 hours later, at about 11am.
As soon as I got off the train I was attacked by people trying to rent me rooms. Damn! I'd looked up Krakow on the old interweb and read that it was a pretty nice city. It had a castle and some medieval stuff. A dragon? I think I had heard they had a dragon too (Which, as it turns out, sits right near the castle). But I hadn't looked up anything else. What kind of moron are you, Brian? I didn't have a hotel, a motel, a hostel. Nothing. Not even a prospect. I decided to listen to the people pitch their rooms.
"Great room. Fine room in the city center, only 900 Zlotsky." (Or whatever Polish money is called. Whatever the proper name, I call it zlotsky.)
"No, I'm looking for something cheaper." Moron! How much is a Zlotsky worth? What's the exchange rate? You should have checked this out. 900? That seems like a lot. No matter the exchange rate. 900 is a lot. I bet it's a lot.
"What? Cheaper? There is nothing cheaper. Not in the city center."
Nothing cheaper? I bet he's just saying that. He looks pretty insulted though. Maybe 900 zlotsky isn't all that much. He went over to talk to an older woman. They returned together.
"Here. She has a cheaper room."
The short old woman wrote "500 Z" on a piece of paper and held it out for me to read. Sweet! I just cut the price in half. Whatever a Zlotsky is worth I know I'm getting a better deal now. I took the woman's offer. She said soemthing like, "walk to car." Then she motioned to my bag. She wanted to carry it. She's like 60 something and wants to carry my bag. I turned down her offer.
She gave me a strange look and stopped walking. She pointed at my bag. Is she insisting on carrying my bag? She is. I handed her my bag. She fell over to the side a bit, then hobbled over to her car.
When we got back to her house she showed me around. I was staying in her spare room. Her room was across the hall. I think she had a husband and grandchildren. At least that's what I gathered when she showed me her bathroom. There were toothbrushes and dirty clothes scattered around. And soap. Good. I forgot to bring soap and there's enough that no one will notice if I use some.
When she finished showing me around I took a shower. I hadn't taken one in a couple days because of the traveling and with all that soap I just had to take one. I moved the swim suit out of the way and took a shower. When I was done I headed into the city. I exchanged some money and found out my room only cost about $14. I also bought another train ticket for Budapest the next night. That left me about 36 hours in Krakow. Ok, on to the city.
I was hungry. Too bad she didn't have a sandwich sitting around. I looked for someplace with an English menu. I found a place that looked like a bar. It looked like a bar until I got just too far to turn back without embarassment. I had walked into the Polish version of Hooter. Rooster. Damn. I should have known. Now I'm like the creepy American sex tourist. One beer and I'm gone. But the beer was cheap, and I was hungry. One plate of pasta and two beers and then I was gone.
I walked around the city until I was overcome by jetlag and cold, until I ran out of sunlight and had nothing left to see. Then I headed back to the old lady's house. To my room. I planned on going out later - finding a bar or a club and checking out the sure-to-be-happenign Krahowian scene - but I fell asleep.
In the morning I packed up all my stuff and left the room. I talked to the old lady and she agreed to let me keep my bag in her house, but I couldn't stay there without paying. No problem. I'll just bum around the city. It's 6am. I'll hit a cafe and get some coffee first off. I'll figure out what to do from there.
I walked around the city for about 45 minutes without seeing anything that looked open. What time to things open here? I saw a cafe and looked at the sign. Damn. They don't open until 7am. Oh. That's only 15 minutes. Ok. I'll look around for soemthing open now, but if nothing is open I'll come back here.
I walked around the corner and found what looked to be a cafe, and just in time. It was on early November morning and I was getting cold. Through the window I saw the place had a shelf all the way around its perimeter and several people inside drinking. I went in.
Just inside the door was a carry out liquor store, but through a door I saw the area I had seen from the window. I walked in to a room with about 10 other people. They sat on benches or stood at the shelf drinking. Their morning drinks.
I went up to the employee tucked behind a small counter topped with about 5 beer taps. "I'll take an espresso." She laughed along with her friend.
"No coffee. Just beer."
I looked over at the people around the outside of the room. Each had a beer. They were drinking beer at 7am. Are they drinking before work? Who would drink this early? I ordered a beer.
The spent the rest of my day looking at the sights in between stops at bars and cafes to use the bathroom justifying my visits with alternating purchases of beer and coffee. During the course of the day I became both dehydrated and extremely drunk.
Toward the end of the day as I walked by a grocery store two kids a little younger than I was approached me saying soemthign in Polish. I got the impression they were begging. I tried to use the "I only speak English" excuse, but then they said, "Sir, maybe you could go in the store and get us some water or juice. Please?" Holy shit. They're begging for water?
Sure. I'll be right back. I came out with both juice and water for them. Oh, and some beer, too. I needed someone else to drink with.
They were punk rocker, squatters, unemployed. We sat and drank until --"Oh, shit. My train is leaving in fifteen minutes. How do I get to the train station from here? Shit! My bag is at the old lady's house."
I made it to the train just before it pulled away. Then I passed out.
Posted by calculatoronfire at January 18, 2005 06:05 PM
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