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December 10, 2004
I Love Email
This whole interweb thing is really great. I love it. Last night during a discussion that degenerated into debating some minor points of the Bible. I stoppped. "Let's use the information superhighway" I said.
We did. As usual, I was right.
That's why I like the 'net so much. It's got my back.
But more even better than quick, easy access to self-published and error-filled, highly-opinionated information I like the fact that we can send each other badly composed textual messages with relative anonymity.
This morning when I checked my email I got a few good ones.
First was a message from someone. I have no idea who:
- Date: December 9, 2004 2:33 PM
Subject: Movin in your area
Message: Whut up playa, I will be movin in your area soon,
keep in touch...I love the budda!!
Peace
Playa? Me? Thanks for noticing.
I've finally been noticed after playin' the game for all these years. I will of course keep in touch, even though I don't know who you are. I don't even really care about not knowing that. What I care about is finding out what "the budda" is. Do tell.
Then came another one from someone else I don't know. It's a rather long one, so I didn't read the whole thing, and I won't put the whole thing up here as I'm sure it would bore you, but here's the part I read (keep in mind I have no idea who this guy is either):
- Date: December 9, 2004 3:53 PM
Subject: FW: ADAMS MORGAN
Message: When: Friday, 10 Dec 1800 - 2300
Where: Adams Morgan district(18th St)
How: D.C. Metro
Adams Morgan is a 3-4 block strip of trendy bars/clubs in the heart of D.C.
It features a host of quaint, sophisticated scene with a uniquely diverse 21-30 clientele. It boasts an eclectic mix of east african, latin american fares and more traditional college bars/coffee houses. One of the premiere chill spots in the district. Definitely suiting for the young professional looking for a place to relax and take in authentic D.C. nite life.
Sign me up! That's all I have to say when tempted by a stranger to hang out with "young professionals" in the "premiere chill spot." Especially in Washington DC. I mean, the entire city is "young professionals" working as congressional staffers clawing their way up the political ladder, so the first place I want to go is the 3-4 block strip of trendy bars/clubs where the Über-young professionals relax.
Sign me up!
Fiinally, after sorting through the random stuff I got a real, personal, message from my old friend ppEN:hanc:ER. I can't remember what I wrote him last, it had been a while I guess, but still his answer to my problem was sage-like as usual:
- YOUMUST ENLARGEYOURPENIS-SIZE! BEST-PRICE & BEHUGE 4 HER.
Thanks, man. What would I do without you?
Posted by calculatoronfire at December 10, 2004 11:13 AM
Comments
Funny. I too have a friend who e-mails me the same advice: englarge your penis. He's very persistent about it.
Posted by: Fate's Fool at December 10, 2004 12:07 PM
What are friends for?
"Those pants make you ass look huge. You better not wear them.
Your penis is how big? You need to ENLARGE! Girth. You need girth too, and a permanent erection. I've got tons of black market Cialis I could give you a good price on.
And look at that flabby pigeon chest. Haven't you heard of Blousen? That thing'll be big and firm in a matter of days.
Hey, I'm only telling you this because I'm your friend and because you helped me smuggle that $8.7 million out of Sudan last year."
Posted by: brian at December 10, 2004 12:20 PM