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December 08, 2004
It Could Be Worse; I Could Be There
I'm at work right now. I'm sitting at my desk. Apparently there's an office Christmas party going on at this very moment. Somewhere. I was never told. Never invited.
I think the secretary screwed up when she asked me if I was going to go.
"Where," I asked.
"To the Office Christmas Party."
"When is it? It's going to be a lunch thing on the 8th."
"Ok."
I figured I'd get more details. I figured that after she wrote my name in at the bottom of the page filled with others' names printed in some sort of spreadsheet that they'd realized I never got the email, the memo, the flier, whatever.
I figured they'd at least tell me where and give me a little more approximate timing than "a lunch thing."
Everyone's gone. They slowly cleared out. I guess I'm not going. It feels weird not to have been invited, but it would also feel weird to go if I wasn't really invited. It's always weird to be the uninvited guy.
In college once I was leaving the cafeteria with a friend of mine. There was an area where you had to stop to pick up napkins and forks and stuff (I refuse to use the word "silverware") and from there two seating areas. One inside, one outside.
Somehow in the jostling for position in line for the forks my friend got shoved one back. When I was loading up my tray he leaned around the guy between us and asked, "Do you want to eat outside?"
"Sure," I said. Why not? It was a nice, sunny spring day.
I sat down at one of the outdoor tables followed by my friend. Then came the guy that was in line between us. Somehow he thought the invitation to eat outside was for him. I had seen the guy around before, but I had never talked to him.
He was in the dungeons and dragons crowd. The Game Masters' Guild I think it was called. They hung out in the cafeteria playing games on weekends. I used to see them there during beer runs. He was a short, little guy that wore a black trench coat that almost scraped the ground. He wore it even on the hottest of summer days. "Thanks for inviting me, guys."
A couple more of our friends came over and sat with us. We dined on the exquisite cafeteria food and talked, joked. All of except the trench coat guy. He just sat and ate, sometimes staring at us sometimes laughing with us. Like the way I laugh with my neighbor. The one whom I cannot understand. I, however, understand the laughing, and I understand it is my duty to join in.
After a while I started to feel a little weird. He was just sitting there giggling with us. I started to feel bad for him. I tried to make him talk. He said some about his Motherboard Design class. He was really excited about it.
Ok, so he's not much of a conversationalist, he doesn't have to talk.
"Jawbreaker is coming to the Metro in a couple weeks, you wanna go?" Frank said.
"Hell yeah." I said.
"I'll pick up a couple tickets. You in Dan?"
"Yeah."
"Get one for me too," Stef added.
"Holy Crap! Did you just see that?" I yelled. Some bird shit just missed your head by like an inch. It just missed him. What's your name any, dude?"
"Actually, I felt it bounce off my hair. And my name is Jeff."
Then Stef noticed, "Yeah. There's a streak of birdshit in Jeff's hair."
Posted by calculatoronfire at December 8, 2004 02:47 PM
Comments
I love the feeling when you're the guy no one knows and you start making friends with everyone and eventually are best friends with everyone and then end up in a courtship contest with some guy you never knew for a girl you never knew and then you win and then you go home with her and you win two more times.
Jeff wasn't that guy was he.
Posted by: argyle at December 8, 2004 11:22 PM
I'm not sure Jeff loves the feeling you were talking about, simply because I'm not sure he even knows it (I don't know it either, but I wish I did - seems this feeling you're talking about only has a couple good friends). While I'm sure he has rolled high on "charisma" I'm not sure he's ever rolled very high on "convincing everyone that he has rolled high on charisma."
I don't think I ever talked to Jeff after that.
Posted by: brian at December 9, 2004 11:05 AM
You don't get invited because you're not in an office with the non-hipsters. So come to Fell's Point Friday night if you've got nothing else to do. I'm going to celebrate being alive after making sushi from raw salmon (I hope).
Posted by: argyle at December 11, 2004 09:04 AM
This coming friday? That's a lot of planning ahead. I like to live on the edge; no plans; nothing. it makes me more hip.
Well, the thing is I probably will go out on Friday, I just want you to remind me over and over again so I feel important. So I get that "Oh, he really wants me to go becasue I am so cool and I have the best western shirts with mother of pearl buttons" feeling.
So eat your raw sushi and then meet me where ever. If you'r still alive that is.
Posted by: brian at December 13, 2004 10:25 AM