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November 29, 2004
Poultry on Thanksgiving
I spent this thanksgiving adding some moderation to the country's diet: while everyone else was overeating and moving the belt one notch looser I fasted.
That wasn't my mission upon waking, but that's the way things ended up. I had practically no food in my house and when I scrounged through the empty cabinets and poked behind every half empty
condiment jar I didn't have much to make a meal. I had a few random non-perishibles that I had intentionally overlooked until then, and upon finding them unsuited for combining to make a meal I mixed them into a soup. Then I added some chicken livers.
Every once in a while when I go to the grocery store I get all adventurous and grab something by all indications I will not enjoy eating. Limberger cheese, rutabaga, various pickled items, etc. This last time it was chicken livers; a tub of chicken livers.
I have no idea what to do with chicken livers, and having never eaten them before I had a very good feeling they would not make a good meal.
I saw nothing but excitement and adventure in the white plastic tub of chicken entrails and I was not about to pass it up.
The chicken livers sat in my refigerator for quite some time basically because I was afraid of them. On Thanksgiving Day my hunger fought back the fear and I mixed them into the soup I was making.
Upon smelling the soup I recalled my brother's words when I told him I had a tub of chicken livers and was likely going to mix them in some sort of soup.
"Don't." He said. "It'll taste like shit."
I laughed it off as words from a guy that takes the safe route in all he does. I was an adventurer. I was not going to bow in the face of chicken livers.
I should have.
I'm not much of a cook and I often make some fairly disgusting food, but the chicken liver soup was by far the most disgusting thing I've ever made. I couldn't finish it. Unfortunately I had mixed in all
the food I had in the house. Still, I had to give it to the dogs.
The chicken liver soup was even worse than the pig arm I ate in a bar in Budapest. I was hanging out with my dad and he was reliving his old, wild days. "She got on her knees there."
"Dad. Stop."
"And there."
"I don't want to hear about it. Please."
"Oh, this bar always had good food. Do you want to eat here?"
I had a feeling food in his mouth would slow his tongue and agreed.
There was no English menu, but that was no matter, I had an expert in bar food with me and let him order.
He ordered me pig arm (or something to that efffect). He made a motion with one finger to the midpoint of his forearm and said, "It's the part from here down on a pig. They take out the bones and fry it."
"The foot too? I don't want that."
"I don't remember if it is the foot too."
"What does it taste like?"
"It's good. I don't remember what it tastes like, but it's good."
My plate came out and as promised it was topped with something deep fried. I bit in. "What the fuck is this? It's like deep fried fat."
"No. No. It's good. I remember it now. Yeah. It's good."
I started to doubt my first bite, maybe the good stuff was hidden beneath a layer of fat. I made a few more tries. "This is all fat. And it tastes nasty."
"Are you sure. I remember it was good. Let me try."
I passed the plate over to him. When I set it down it stuck to my fingers. I had to peel my fingers off the plate. I tried to wipe them off, but the napkin stuck to my fingers. Soon my hands were covered
with bits of paper napkin.
"Deep fried glue.You ordered me deep fried glue. Remind me never to trust you about food."
I still trust my brother. And please trust me, you don't want to eat deep fried pig arm, and you especially do not want to ever, ever try chicken liver soup.
Posted by calculatoronfire at November 29, 2004 10:13 AM
Comments
Haha. That's one food I'll never learn to like. And sea urchins. Don't ever try sea urchin because its even worse than liver.
Posted by: argyle at November 29, 2004 10:25 AM
I dated a girl that bought a 20 lbs bag of sea urchins and made sea urchin for weeks. Sea urchin shakes. Sea urchin souffle...
It scared me.
Posted by: brian at November 29, 2004 10:47 AM